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Army in Focus: Script Kiddies

KLONDIKE, CP Army Headquarters- With the exam schedule roaring on for most people, I will be filling in for Action this week!  Thankfully, I’ve already finished my exams.  This week we are almost obligated to take a look at the Script Kiddies, who soared up to sixth place in their first (and last) week as an army.  Let’s see how much this post can toe the line between a report and satire!

Disclaimer: This post contains some elements of actual reporting as well as elements of satire.  It is obvious as to what stuff is not actual news.  Use your noggin.

The Script Kiddies are colloquially referred to as the Silver Kids.  They were created on May 16th, 2021 by Hydro21 and PotassiumJack283 also played a part in the foundation as an advisor.  The Script Kiddies are very secretive, as all Discord users must be verified as actual troops.  If one is not a member of the army, they must open up a support ticket to gain permissions.  CPAHQ attempted to gain access to the Discord, but was quickly shot down by Hydro.

Even with careful explanation, the Script Kiddies do not let an outsider in.

Finding information about the Script Kiddies is harder than one would expect.  In an era where visibility is a must, SK has truly gone great lengths to do the opposite of that.  However, what can be found is that the leaders of the army Hydro, Potassium, and Guardian.  Little is known about Guardian.  On SK’s website, Guardian is listed as a legend:

Guardian is the greatest troop the skids have ever had. Zee was the first recruit to join Skids, after zee returning to the CP army community in 2021. Zee joined as a 2nd in command but was quickly promoted to leader. Zed’s primary goal was to keep the skids protected from outside predators and this has earned zedself, zed’s status as a legend.

With all of this secrecy, it is bizarre seeing the army in the thick of the Top Ten last week.  The Script Kiddies placed sixth, higher than notable armies such as the Doritos, Water Vikings, Templars, and SWAT.  While SK benefited from hosting eight events in a week, their size was nothing to discredit.  The army racked up 24.53 size points; the most ever for a debut army on a CPAHQ Top Ten!

Score sheet from the May 23rd, 2021 Top Ten.

Six of the eight events that the Script Kiddies hosted took place during AUSIA hours.  These events routinely saw the best sizes, with a week high of 25 as their first event.  Towards the end of the week, SK introduced their UK division.  They garnered a total of 17 troops during that time.  The next day, they debuted their US division, this time reaching a max of 19 troops.  Across the board, the Silver Kids averaged impressive sizes for such a young army.

The inaugural Script Kiddie event.

CPAHQ reached out to Potassium for a comment on the Script Kiddies’ performance and their future.

The whole idea of the Script Kiddies was originally thought out by Me, Jack, Hydro and the Guardian. The original plan, and the one we stuck by, was to work extremely hard in building an army up over roughly 2 weeks, focusing heavily on interaction with recruits and short events, while somewhat abusing the Ausia curve to place highly. Ultimately, it was sort of a funny way to help benefit WV, our home army, and show how easy it really is to place highly if you play your cards right. In regards to the future of the Script Kiddies, it was never meant to be a long-term thing, as I said it was more of a 2 week-bust than anything else, I doubt the four of us would have the time to keep this up for any significant amount of time, recruiting especially is a big task and having to balance that with WV would be extremely difficult. So, we’ve merged the Script Kiddies in with WV, thus transferring a few of our troops over. We had a lot of fun doing this lol.

On the Script Kiddies’ website, the Nations page shows what they call “The Sacred Code”.  The line of code is attributed to not only the success of SK, but to the ‘saving’ of the Water Vikings under Potassium and Hydro.

After spending a whopping five minutes researching Python, I caved in and asked a source who was bravely willing to come forward and explain it’s meaning.  As requested, this source will remain anonymous.

With permission from our source, we went back to Potassium for a full interrogation on these claims.

An insider source has told us that “The Sacred Code” saved the Water Vikings by intimidating the Templars. Is this true? If so, how did it happen?

It’s a Python List view.  If Jack told you that, don’t worry, he’s trolling. It’s just a meme he made in reference to the vibe of the army, being ‘Script Kiddies’.

*DMT went on to clarify that Jack283 was suspended without pay.

You know what, fine, I’ll be brutally honest with you. For Jack’s position, I’ll confess. The Prophecy of the L, meaning List, is an ancient piece of language derived from the ruins of Elmikey’s CP Army tomb, buried in the Pyramid of Userkaf, located in Egypt. Jack, Hydro and I went on a mission to uncover this code and used it against the Templars during the infamous ‘Golden Seas War’.  This was evidently successful. We knew that Xing was very fearful of Scripting Languages, so we used this relic of CP Armies to strike fear into the heart of Xing; he was absolutely petrified. Xing, immediately after coming into contact with the glorious List[] handed the Water Vikings are large majority of their land, thus making WV win the war. Xing has reportedly never been the same since, he apparently can no longer speak the English Language and is in recovery.

This explains the recent cryptic language coming from Templaria; the echos of Based and Rome. Jack283 will be reinstated instantly as I am a man of my word. Why would you and Hydro do such a thing for a Club Penguin war?

It’s simple, we did it to save the Water Vikings. The war itself would have extremely tight otherwise, both armies were very similar in sizes at the time – we had to do something. The List[] has, since then, been destroyed, as if it were to be held in the wrong hands, it could mean the end of all CP Armies; and we couldn’t let that happen. Whoever gave you this information must have been monitoring us during this whole ordeal, I’m not quite sure how they have managed to gain such sensitive information. The Water Vikings’ have been saved, and that’s really all that matters. Dire times call for dire measures.

Count your days because I am about to END your army career. Is there anything else you would like to add?

[REDACTED]*

*Potassium attempted to spread damaging, untruthful propaganda.  CPAHQ will not reveal the contents of what this monster said.  Just know that it hurt my feelings.

Thank you, appreciate the interview!

After this interview, Potassium and I had a nice chat about the English language.

So the Script Kiddies hype train ends here, as they revealed their plans to merge into the Water Vikings.  For an army that only was alive for a week, SK certainly left their mark.  Not only did they disrupt the usual Top Ten order, but they exposed themselves as the deep state attempting to throw the community into chaos.  The powers of The Sacred Code have already been demonstrated.  CPAHQ condemns the usage of this line of code, as it disrupts the harmony of every army.

DMT

CP Army Headquarters Director in Chief

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